Catastrophe Strikes In Carmel
by PsychoBabe313
Summary: Suze, Ceecee, Adam and others... ON THE INTERNET! Dun dun DUUNNN!
1. Of Fuzzy Eyebrows and Pooper Scoopers

**Screen Names:**

**ISeeDeadPeople**- Suze (Obviously… I know she would never broadcast it like that.. but OH WELL!)

**CourtJesta**-Adam

**Scooper-** CeCe (You'll see)

**Chapter One: Of Fuzzy Eyebrows and Pooper Scoopers**

**CourtJesta enters the room.**

**ISeeDeadPeople enters the room.**

**ISeeDeadPeople**: hey

**CourtJesta:** my eyebrows are fuzzy

**ISeeDeadPeople:**

**ISeeDeadPeople**: wow. just wow.

**CourtJesta**: its true

**Scooper enters the room.**

**Scooper**: Hi! What are you guys talking about?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: adam's fuzzy eyebrows

**ISeeDeadPeople**: is that u ceecee?

**Scooper**: Yes…

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what's with the sn?

**Scooper**: sn?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: your screen name

**Scooper**: what about it?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: Scooper?

**CourtJesta**: sorry about the silence, peeps

**CourtJesta**: I was too busy laughing too hard

**CourtJesta**: i think I ruptured my spleen

**Scooper**: What's wrong with my screen name?

**CourtJesta**: SCOOPER???

**ISeeDeadPeople**: it's just kind of… weird

**CourtJesta**: WEIRD? It's BIZAR!! It's the QUEEN of QUEER. It's the MASTER of MADNESS its… its.. CRAZY!!

**Scooper**: It's _bizarre,_ not bizar. And what's so bad about it? You know, Scooper… Like, I always get the

latest scoop on things…?

**Scooper**: Hence, I am the 'Scooper'. It's not funny?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: it just makes u sound like.. I dunno… a ice cream scooper or something.

**CourtJesta**: like a POOPER SCOOPER

**Scooper**: Oh, very funny Adam.

**CourtJesta**: POOPER SCOOPER!!! AHAHAHA

**ISeeDeadPeople**: o shut up adam

**ISeeDeadPeople**: lol

**CourtJesta**: POOPER SCOOPER!! CEECEES A POOPER SCOOPER!!!

**Scooper**: Shut up!

**CourtJesta**: YOU shut up, you POOPER SCOOPER!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: just ignore him…

**Scooper**: I always do.

**CourtJesta**: POOOOOOOOOOPER SCOOPER!

**Scooper:** Hey! MY screen name?

**Scooper:** What about YOUR screen name?

**ISeeDeadPeople:** Who ME?

**CourtJesta:** POOPER SCOOPER!! POOPER SCOOPER POOPERSCOOOOOOOPER!

**Scooper:** Yes, you.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what's wrong with it?? Sixth sense is a CLASSIC

**Scooper:** Yes, but the whole 'I see dead people thing' pretty much got used up the first year it came out.

**ISeeDeadPeople:** so?

**CourtJesta:** CECE'S A POOPER SCOOPER! CECE SCOOPS UP POOP! AHAHAHAHA

**Scooper:** ADAM! SHUT. UP.

**CourtJesta:** or what?? You'll scoop up some pooooop and throw it at me??? HA HA

**Scooper:** You'll find a lot more stuff thrown at you if you don't knock it off!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: lol

**CourtJesta:** threaten all you want.. but at the end of the day ur still a pooooper scooooper!

**Scooper:** Whatever. I'm going to go and work on the new piece for the paper.

**ISeeDeadPeople:** yeah.. the parentals want me down for dinner.. better go

**CourtJesta**: bye suze!

**CourtJesta**: bye PS! (ha ha get it?? POOPER SCOOPER???)

**Scooper:** You're _so_ funny.

**CourtJesta:** i try my best

**ISeeDeadPeople:** c u at skool tom!

**Scooper:** Bye!

**So here's the first chapter of my new fic..Bad? Probably.. Good? haha REVIEW!!! lol Don't worry, I haven't given up on 'schizophrenia'.. but writer's block just stinks… lol**

**For this fic I used my lovely (ha) friends and me as muses… CeCe is my friend Hannah (bwahaha), Suze would be a watered down version of my friend Mel (yeah… she's usually more crazy.. so sue me), and Adam is yours truly! (And all my friends will agree that that is how I always act online…)**

**Review.. because I KNOW you want to.. and remember… reviewers get a STICK! (or was it a rock… I don't remember.. but its one of the two)**


	2. Of Gangsters and Gangstas

**ISeeDeadPeople- **Suze

**CourtJesta-** Adam

**Scooper-** CeeCee

**FlirtyBabe411-** Kelly

**Chapter 2- Of Gangsters and Gangstas**

**Scooper**: Hey, guys!

**CourtJesta**: yo homies

**ISeeDeadPeople**: oh no

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I thought u were joking when you said you were going to act like a gangster all day

**CourtJesta**: its gangstA. n I ain't trippin

**Scooper**: Your abuse of the English language disturbs me.

**CourtJesta**: what? You aint down wit it, yo?

**Scooper**: I ain't down with anything you have to say.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: Uh huh

**Scooper**: What's that supposed to mean?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: you know what it means

**Scooper**: Do I have to cause you some bodily harm the next time I see you, Suze?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what?! I only said 'uh huh'

**CourtJesta**: I ain't not knowin what you homies are talkin whack about

**ISeeDeadPeople**: that didn't make any sense whatsoever

**Scooper**: Gangsters don't talk like that, you know.

**CourtJesta**: its gangSTA, and yes we do, dawg

**Scooper**: Whatever

**FlirtyBabe411 has entered the room**

**FlirtyBabe411**: hi guys! It's Kelly

**ISeeDeadPeople**: how'd you get our screen names?

**FlirtyBabe411**: I have my ways

**CourtJesta**: yo, who be inviting you here, K-izzle?

**CourtJesta**: no offense, dawg

**FlirtyBabe411**: like I said

**FlirtyBabe411**: I have my ways

**FlirtyBabe411**: Kizzle? What the heck is that?

**CourtJesta**: it's your name, K-izzle. You my homie till granny aint got none scizzors no more

**FlirtyBabe411**: WHAT??!?!?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: ignore him.. _he_ doesn't even know what he's saying

**Scooper**: Question: Why are you here… talking to us?

**FlirtyBabe411**: I need to ask suze something

**ISeeDeadPeople**: okayyyy … ask away

**FlirtyBabe411**: does jake have a girlfriend?

**FlirtyBabe411**: because like I heard from Debbie who heard from jen that chrissy saw jake and that he

was like going out with some phoebe person

**ISeeDeadPeople**:

**ISeeDeadPeople**: and you couldn't have just called him and asked?

**FlirtyBabe411**: well I don't want him to think that im like desperate or anything

**Scooper**: Yuh huh.

**FlirtyBabe411**: so? Is it true?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I don't know… not as far as I know…

**FlirtyBabe411**: YES!

**Scooper**: Wait a second. Phoebe who?

**FlirtyBabe411**: um… serenson I think

**Scooper**: Yeah, Phoebe Serenson is going out with Jake _Kyle_, not Jake Ackerman.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: how do you know this stuf???

**Scooper**: Hello? I'm the Scooper, remember?

**FlirtyBabe411**: yeah, what's with that anyways? It makes you sound like I dunno.. a pooper scooper or

something

**CourtJesta**: do mine ears hereth something, miladies?

**Scooper**: Oh no…

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what happened to the gangsta?

**CourtJesta**: the good sir had to leaveth

**CourtJesta**: I am Sir Adam Goodman of Carmel, son of Frodo

**FlirtyBabe411**: I gotta go bye

**FlirtyBabe411 has exited the room**

**Scooper**: Nice going, Frodo. You scared her away.

**CourtJesta**: I am SON of Frodo. My nameth be Adam the Brave.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: more like adam the psychotic

**CourtJesta**: your words wound me, milady

**CourtJesta**: ah, I am due to now slayeth the dragon of Geometryzarr.. wish me well

**CourtJesta**: may your love keep me safe on this perilous journey

**Scooper**: Actually, I'm hoping you'll get fried.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: uh huh

**Scooper**: Suze…

**CourtJesta**: Farewell!

**CourtJesta has exited the room.**

**Scooper**: Suze, one of these days…

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what?? I only said 'uh huh'

**Scooper has exited the room.**

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what?!?

**ISeeDeadPeople has exited the room.**


	3. Of Cyberspace and Paul's Assets

**Hey!! If you have me on alert hint hint nudge nudge… lol JK! then you probably got like fifty emails for the same two chapters… I was messing around with my fics and it got deleted and then chapter two wouldn't work so I had to delete it and put it up a lot of times.. so sorry for the false alarms and the many emails.. hehe… so as a present here's chapter THREE!! Four's coming soon!! **

**ISeeDeadPeople**: Suze

**CourtJesta**: Adam

**Scooper**: CeeCee

**ShiftSlater007**: Paul (I'm so creative:P)

**ISeeDeadPeople**: don't look now, but paul just signed in

**Scooper**: Don't look now? Yeah, I can really see him through cyberspace.

**CourtJesta**: Hey! Paul! Come sit over here!

**ShiftSlater007** has entered the room.

**ShiftSlater007**: look who we have here

**Scooper**: We can't see through cyberspace!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: you actually invited him in adam?!?!

**CourtJesta**: he looked lonely over there

**Scooper**: WE CAN'T SEE THROUGH CYBERSPACE!

**ShiftSlater007**: Scooper??

**ISeeDeadPeople**: that's ceecee

**ISeeDeadPeople**: anyways they're just figures of speeches.. figure of speeches? Figures of speech?

Whatever… calm down cee

**ShiftSlater007**: yet again I say: Scooper?

**Scooper**: Do we really have to go through this again?

**CourtJesta**: im having much fun!

**Scooper**: I bet.

**ShiftSlater007**: sorry, but it makes you sound like..

**ISeeDeadPeople**: DON'T say it!!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: you might cause adam to spontaneously combust with excitement

**ISeeDeadPeople**: and while _I_ wouldn't mind that…

**CourtJesta**: HEY!

**CourtJesta**: watch it! I am a very emotionally sensitive person

**ShiftSlater007**: ive only known you for a month or so and I know that that is the farthest thing from the

truth

**ISeeDeadPeople**: yes, and u of course would know about lies, wouldn't u paul?

**ShiftSlater007**: whats that supposed to mean, ISeeDeadPeople?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: you know exactly what I mean

**Scooper**: I'm sorry to interrupt your little quarrel here, but may I point out that **S**hiftSlater007 is just as

weird as Scooper.

**Scooper**: So I wouldn't talk.

**ShiftSlater007**: at least mines not named after a tool used to pick up dog crap

**CourtJesta**: oh boy! This is my favorite part!

**Scooper**: Don't you dare, Adam!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: look what u did paul

**CourtJesta**: you guys are no fun

**Scooper**: Back to Paul's retarded screen name.

**CourtJesta**: yeah. What does that mean**, ShiftSlater007**

ShiftSlater077: I LIkE tHE sHIfT KeY?!

**ISeeDeadPeople**: no, it's just that he likes to shift a lot. From being an ass, to being a marginally nicer ass

**ShiftSlater007**: you think I have a nice ass suze? Why thank you!

**ISeeDeadPeople**:

**CourtJesta**: man.. I should have though of that first…

**Scooper**: We are all very disappointed in you, Adam.

**CourtJesta**: god just leave me alone sob

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I'm going to go to bed now, and try really really hard to pretend that this conversation

never happened

**ISeeDeadPeople**: REALLY hard

**ISeeDeadPeople** has exited the room.

**CourtJesta**: NOW whos scaring the innocent girls away?

**ShiftSlater007**: well.. it was very nice to talk to u all and whatever, but I'm going to go now and dream

that suze is dreaming about my butt

**ShiftSlater007**: bye

**CourtJesta**: o I REALLY didn't need to hear that

**Scooper**: YOU CAN'T HEAR THROUGH CYBERSPACE!


	4. Of Eating Toes and Dead Men Walking

Screen Names:

You know the drill… If you don't, just go back to the other chapters.

(That's Psycho-speak for I'm too lazy to type them out again).

**Scooper**: Did you just see what I just saw?

**CourtJesta**: what did u saw that im supposed to see?

**Scooper**: That email from Father D.

**CourtJesta**: the one about the new school policies blah blah blah??

**Scooper**: Yeah.

**CourtJesta**: what about it?

**Scooper**: Um, it's Father D. On the internet.

**CourtJesta**: don't be hatin on my homie

CoutJesta: yo

**Scooper**: No.

**Scooper**: Just no.

**ISeeDeadPeople** has entered the room.

**CourtJesta**: probly Suze's doing

**ISeeDeadPeople**: what did I do this time?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: or rather: I DIDN'T DO IT!!

**CourtJesta**: we KNOW you did it suze

**Scooper**: Yeah, no use denying it.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: okay, but you guys just have to know

**ISeeDeadPeople**: that I had a very good reason for shoving her in front of that bus

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I swear

**CourtJesta**: WHAT?!?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: joking guys

**ISeeDeadPeople**: geez

**CourtJesta**: I knew that

**Scooper**: Uh huh.

**CourtJesta**: I DID

**ISeeDeadPeople**: so what did I do?

**Scooper**: Father Dom's on the internet now.

**ISeeDeadPeople**: oh, THAT

**ISeeDeadPeople**: see, about that….

**CourtJesta**: i just never thought id see the day

**Scooper**: So what did you do to make him actually touch something that hasn't been around for a

hundred and fifty years?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I told him he had to get down with the times

**ISeeDeadPeople**: … man

**CourtJesta**: I'm going to pretend that you never said that

**CourtJesta**: ok?

**ShiftSlater007 has entered the room.**

**ISeeDeadPeople**: ok who invited him??

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I would like to know who to strangle…

**ShiftSlater007**: aww don't be like that suze

**ISeeDeadPeople**: be like what?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: be like 'OMG paul slater? Yeah he makes me want to cut off my own toe and eat it… ew he's so AWFUL'

**ISeeDeadPeople**: sorry I cant help it

**ShiftSlater007**: yeah. I just have that effect on the ladies

**CourtJesta**: like ohemgi NO WAY! Like, ME TOO!!!

**Scooper**:

**Scooper**:

**Scooper**:

**Scooper**: NO

**Scooper**: NEVER

**Scooper**: AGAIN

**ISeeDeadPeople**: i agree wholeheartedly

**ISeeDeadPeople**: just stop

**CourtJesta**: like, what is like, YOUR problem?

**ISeeDeadPeople**: I hafta go…

**ISeeDeadPeople**: dinner with the ackermans is always something I need to mentally prepare for

**ISeeDeadPeople has exited the room.**

**CourtJesta**: awww come on

**Scooper**: I have to leave too…

**Scooper**: See you tomorrow, Adam!

**Scooper** **has exited the room.**

**ShiftSlater007**: what about me??

**CourtJesta**: they don't like u… sorry

**CourtJesta**: HA HA

**CourtJesta**: I'm going to go now….

**CourtJesta** **has exited the room.**

**DeadManWalking has entered the room.**

**DeadManWalking:** Oh, hi Paul.

**ShiftSlater007**: jesse…

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUNNN!!!! You are all on the edge of your seats, aren't you? Don't deny it….

Well, FINALLLY here's another chapter… You don't have to worry anymore, I didn't die… Okay, I did

come close with that magic marker/superglue/cocoa puffs fiasco there… But I thanks to that well placed

marshmellow, I escaped death! bows

…

OH EM GI! It's JESSE!! Never fear! Another chapter is coming… try not to pass out from the SUSPENSE!!

(Don't I hold my writing skills in high regard? You guys are all probably like 'Um… Whoop de do… it's

gasp JESSE! sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm' but oh well!)

Xxoo PSYCHOBABE!! xxoo


	5. Of Rocky Road and Paul's Woes

**ShiftSlater007:** and how are you doing today?

**DeadManWalking:** I am good… I am feeling very _alive_ today, actually.

**DeadManWalking:** No thanks to you.

**ShiftSlater007:** hey! I was trying to save your LIFE if you don't happen to remember…

**ShiftSlater007:** geez, what's a guy got to do to get a little credit around here?

**ShiftSlater007:** and besides, I thought we were past all of that

**DeadManWalking:** Ha ha… I was, how do you say…. JK?

**DeadManWalking:** Anyways, I am still thankful to you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive today.

**ShiftSlater007**: yeah yeah… don't remind me.

**ISeeDeadPeople has entered the room.**

**ISeeDeadPeople:** someone please tell me that I've been sucked into a twisted hell-dimension

**DeadManWalking:** Susannah!

**ISeeDeadPeople:** hey jesse

**ShiftSlater007:** SUZE!!!!

**ISeeDeadPeople:** ugh.. its _you_

**ShiftSlater007**: come on! I used more exclamation points than him AND I capitalized all the letters in

your name!

**ShiftSlater007:** I should at least get a 'hey paul' or a 'hey there, sexy'

**ISeeDeadPeople**: how about a 'get away from me, perv'?

**ISeeDeadPeople:** does that work?

**ShiftSlater007:** … close enough

**DeadManWalking:** I have to leave now… There are some things I need to get for tomorrow's

presentation.

**DeadManWalking**: Querida, would you like to get some ice cream with me in an hour?

**ShiftSlater007:** I'd LOVE to!

**ISeeDeadPeople:** ahem. Are you his querida? I don't think so

**ShiftSlater007:** it depends… is jesse buying?

**DeadManWalking:** I am

**DeadManWalking:** but only for people named Susannah Simon.

**DeadManWalking:** Sorry, Paul.

**ISeeDeadPeople:** pick me up at 7:30 then, jesse?

**DeadManWalking**: of course

**DeadManWalking:** Goodbye!

**DeadManWalking has exited the room.**

**ShiftSlater007:** fine

**ShiftSlater007:** leave me out

**ShiftSlater007**: I'll just be sitting at home

**ShiftSlater007:** by myself

**ShiftSlater007:** My favorite flavor is rock road… in case you want to pick me up something….

**ISeeDeadPeople has exited the room.**

**ShiftSlater007:** I'm so unloved…

**Hi!! I'm back! After months and months and months…. I COULD make excuses but you guys wouldn't believe me anyways, so yes, I've been very lazy. I apologize!**

**Yes, I know this chapter's kinda bad and short, but the next one will be better! (Oh, who am I kidding… I doubt the next one will be better, but we can all pretend!)**

**However, if you can find some holiday spirit still left in your hearts for poor, poor, little old me, you could press that little button right there that's next to the review thing… **

**I promise, promise, promise to get another chapter out soon! (Okay, yes I said that five months ago, but this time I really DO promise::beams convincingly:: )**

**I love you all, just for reading this chapter and not giving up on me!**


End file.
